Eagleionline

Disclaimer: The following is a satirical story; it is not a factual accounting.  The views expressed below are of a fictional student, not the staff at Eagleionline or any other student at BC Law School.

Lucy Bartlett, local BCLS 3L and immigration law specialist, recently came home from her immigration law clinic to find and promptly kick out her roommate’s house guests.  Bartlett was exceedingly annoyed to find three of her roommate’s friends in her apartment, citing communication difficulties, lack of space, and cultural differences as the main sources of her frustration with her roommate’s guests.  After Bartlett spent Monday in immigration court working on an asylum claim for her Ugandan client, she returned home to find her roommate, Peggy Liu, had invited three of her friends from Baltimore to stay with her for a few days.  Bartlett promptly told them to pack their bags and get out.  “Peggy had invited all these weird Chineses or something to stay at our place for a few days.  I should honestly build a wall around my apartment so those weirdos can’t get in,” reported Bartlett to Eaglei reporters.

Bartlett’s commitment to immigration law began in her first year at BC Law School when she started studying international law, following it up in the next year with classes in immigration law, business immigration law, and during her third year the advanced immigration law clinic.  “I became interested in immigration law because everyone deserves an opportunity to find an open and friendly home when they need one.  A lot of people come from war-torn, poverty-striken countries and need a peaceful place to live.  They can’t be blamed for the sad condition of their homelands.”   Bartlett always tells her friends and family that she went to law school so that she could help people.  She consistently states that she is a wholesome, welcoming person who is enthusiastic about ethnic and cultural diversity, “Everyone is different and special in their own way.  We need to embrace our differences in order to make sure we understand each other as a welcoming, cosmopolitan community.  Bartlett writes on her cover letters for jobs that she wants to use her legal expertise in immigration law to make sure everyone can find a restful home when they need one and no one is sent home packing.

Shortly after describing her devotion to hospitality, Bartlett sent her roommate’s guests packing.  “Just because their homes suck doesn’t mean I have to let them in my place to make house suck just as much.”  She cited the open Chinese food containers, old beer cans, and stacked suitcases in the living room as evidence of the guests’ decrepit and messy lifestyle.  Bartlett, a committed immigration law devotee, has a no-mess, zero-tolerance policy at her home.

In response to Bartlett’s adamant refusal to let the house guests stay with her, Liu informed her that her friends had come to Boston to flee the gang violence in their urban neighborhood in Maryland.   Liu’s Thai friends had been assaulted and pressured to leave their homes in fear for their lives.  “I don’t care what their damage is,” Bartlett told Liu as her guests started packing their bags, “I have to get my research and writing done for an asylum request for my clients I’m submitting tomorrow in immigration court.” 

Bartlett’s roommate’s house guests, who are from Thailand and speak little English, had difficulty understanding Bartlett when she told them to pack their bags and get out.  “All they speak is this freak-deaky Chinese or whatever – I speak English, the language of this country.  I shouldn’t have to learn another language just to get along in my own home.”  Bartlett became very irate when her guests starting to display religious symbols in the home and burn ceremonial incense.  “Learn English or go back to your own house!” Bartlett told her roommate’s guests as they struggled to understand her.

After kicking Liu’s house guests out of their joint apartment, Bartlett turned to her work load for immigration law.  “There are people out there with no home to go to and they seriously need my help to find a same place to live.  The sooner those homeless parasites get out and understand that, the better.”

Disclaimer: The above was a satirical story; it was not a factual accounting.  The views expressed above were of a fictional student, not the staff at Eagleionline or any other student at BC Law School.